In 2016, I began treatment for generalized anxiety disorder. In truth, I should’ve gotten treatment years sooner, but I had no idea what was going on with me. I decided to self-medicate with alcohol instead. What caused my anxiety? How did I let things get so bad? As it turns out, there are numerous causes […]
This time of year, your social media is likely inundating you with lists of the perfect, must-buy gifts for the holiday season. But rather than fall down the rabbit hole of “oh my god I need this,” I thought I would share with you something that will actually improve your life: a weighted blanket.
I was recently scrolling on Twitter (yes, I know) and I came across a tweet that really made me pause.
I wasn’t alone in thinking that this seemingly obvious yet easily overlooked choice was in its own way, a revolutionary act. At the time I saw it, this had been retweeted over 288,000 times. It got me thinking about all the “what ifs” that have kept me up at night, stolen my thoughts throughout the day, and kept me from pursuing things I thought could make my life better.
It’s #WorldMentalHealthDay! So many of us suffer from mental health issues. It’s important that we devote time and resources to understanding mental health, eliminating the stigma associated with it, and work to improve the overall quality of life for anyone who is suffering.
Having anxiety can feel a little like being trapped inside a very loud high school cafeteria where the chatter ranges from shrill gossip, to bullying, to random diatribes over seemingly useless topics. The noise varies in its harmfulness. There’s a mean girl in there judging everything: your looks, your attire, your personality and life choices. She reminds you of all the dumb shit you did, as any true frenemy would, and leaves you feeling suddenly mortified about a past event you thought you’d locked away forever. The bullies are there interrupting any peace you might have with random insults hurled from every direction. “Stupid bitch!” Whoa, buddy. Where did that come from? What did you do to illicit this? Nothing really. It’s just what bullies do. In the milder moments, you’re swept up in trains of thought that seem interesting and insightful, but ultimately are stealing time away. It’s incredibly exhausting to live inside a space that rarely gets quiet.
So what to do?
With each relapse I’ve had since June 2016, I’m always reminded the next day that my brain is at odds with alcohol. The effects range. I may wake up with the shakes and feeling like I might jump out of my skin, heart racing, and mind a jumbled mess. It is also possible that I will wake up feeling incredibly depressed and have to dig deep just to get out of bed and wash or eat. Sometimes I wake up feeling wound up. I bounce off the walls and want to go, go, go!
Why the Jekyll and Hyde routine? There are two answers to that question…